Cherophobia - Fear of Happiness

Maybe that's what I have. The reason I'm so morose and cynical, forever the idealistic pessimist. I was just telling someone today:

... sometimes I think I'll never be that (content) because my comfort zone requires some element of misery and despair, like I could be content, but if I were I wouldn't be comfortable; as if I was wearing itchy underwear :-D. I mean can you be truly happy wearing itchy underwear? I don't think I could.

Since I'm not a farmer ...

and science has blessed us with the gift of readily available electricity throughout the day, why in the world do I have to wake up in the early morning? No conceivable reason (other than tradition and the diurnal circadian rhythm of over 98% of the population). I am so not a morning person.

You will never live ...

if you are looking for the meaning of life.

Maybe it's the Rebecca weather, the proximity of VD, or the ephermeral glimpse into an idealized life viewed from afar; or perhaps the single, unoccupied, weekend bed... or maybe I was just born this way. Whatever the reason, melancholy has yet again reared its ugly head.

Even "Ice-T" , "Dr. Dre", and "Peyton" serve only as reminders of an incessant solitude.

At least I'm working now, and Lucky Charms now comes in chocolate ...