Nobody Drowned ON the Titanic

Gratuity Not Included

You know it's gratuitous when the gratuitous car washing scene is missing the car!

-The Soup's Joel McHale

Toxic

How much longer can I survive such close proximity to all things toxic?

Living In America

Alright, alright. Well you know... we each have our right to be wrong, that's America!

-Stephen Colbert (The Colbert Report)

A Peculiar Test of a Man's Affection

Just Take Care of the Suit

My living quarters don't exactly inspire confidence.

Dare I Eat a Peach?

Sam: Used to be a semi-private bottom

Dalton: The army of dullness has recruited another soul.

Frasier: Does the woman every say no?
Carla: Only to you!

If John Mellencamp Ever Wins an Oscar...

It takes courage just to be you. To get out of bed every single day knowing full well you gotta be you... I couldn't do it. I ain't that strong, and I ain't that brave.

I saved a life, my own. Am I a hero? ... I really can't say, but yes.

-The Office

Step Off George!

I'm a love junkie, you gotta up the dose.

-Stephen Colbert (The Colbert Report)

Well, Who's Laughing Now?

It's time to put humpty dumpty back together again.

If this is hell, I'm not THAT unhappy.

-Cheers