Lately the closest to happiness I get is when I'm coughing so hard that I lose a few breaths. My dissociative oxygen deprived brain welcomes the soothing touch of pins and needles. And as I come closer to losing consciousness I feel eerily free. Free from the burdens of civil society. From the desperate clutches of comity and free from the reflexive song and dance. Such freedom in my life is rare indeed.
For far too fleeting a moment, my life hangs in the balance, between reality and fantasy, misery and bliss. Just for a second or two, but who really knows. Hypoxia does tend to hinder one's perception of time.
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