More Palatable Indeed!

Family man, husband, and father. Sounds so...upstanding, harmless...Much better than 'lives alone, keeps to himself'.


To be a brother, to have a friend, to have a wife, a family...But if you play a role long enough, really commit, does it ever become real? Could I become real?

My life has always felt like... an unanswered question. A string of days and nights waiting for something to happen, but I didn't know what...Rita, we're connected. Wherever I am, I feel you and the kids, with me. You're what makes me real. I want us to always go out for banana splits, and replant the lemon tree that keeps dying, and I never ever wanna miss a pizza night, and that's how I know I want to marry you, because something as simple as pizza night is the highlight of my week.

Most actors toil in obscurity never stepping into the spotlight. But if you hone your craft, work diligently, you might just find yourself cast in the role of a lifetime.

-Dexter

Good Dog

"So, I'm happily divorced...

She got convinced in her crazy head that I had sex with this girl in Columbus, Ohio.

And I did ...

and I'll tell you why.

When you enter into a monogamous relationship with somebody, you usually do it at a point where you're having a lot of sex in the relationship. So you sign the papers saying 'I'll only have sex with you ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, fucking ever.' Well if that person, for whatever reason, stops having sex altogether... why you find yourself in quite a pickle!

I'm a pretty good dog, but if you don't pet me every once in a while, it's hard to keep me under the porch. I'm not as flexible as a real dog.

I'll tell you what happened, too. I was in Columbus, Ohio. I hadn't been laid in three months. Three months. You can't go three months without having sex with me or I'll go find someone else. I know cause I've seen me do it."

-Ron White